“I’d rather write about this world than live in it and I’d rather play music all day and read and wander around in bookstores and watch humans but not be one of them.” ~ Unknown.
Hey. You can call me Spice. I try to create a quaint blog dedicated to music, art, and some random conversation. I'm a 23 year old artist and stoyteller, INFP-T, and a complete mess.
2017 was an....interesting year to say the least. I think I can speak for everyone when I say this year felt like....
But one of the things that surely got me through it aside from God's strength and grace, is music.
Here's my top 20 songs from 2017 that helped get me through every up, down, and loopty-loop of the roller coaster this year turned out to be. Honestly each and every one of these songs became very personal to me for one reason or another.
In any case, I picked the best of the best and nothing less!
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1. Clearest Blue (Thomas Datt Remix) - CHVRCHES
2. Real Love - Hillsong Young & Free
3. Something Real - DubVision ft Nevve
4. Oceans Away (The Mightnight Remix) - A R I Z O N A
5. Sunny Days - Armin van Buuren ft Josh Cumbee
6. Ultraviolet (ft LeyeT) - Farleon
7. Who Says - Joshua Micah
8. Fiji Water - Owl City
9. Human Nature (Great Good Fine Ok Remix) - Paperwhite
10. Light Years (ft Nikki Flores) - The Midnight
11/11-A/11-B. Stellar - HICARI
This one is special. I literally love the original version (unavailable atm :C), and all 3 of the remixes of it, which is RARE for me.
12. You Lost Me - HICARI
13. Vandalize - Rascal Flatts
14. Find Yourself - Great Good Fine Ok
15. Never Be The Same - Danny Gokey
16. 1Electricity - Culture Code ft Michael Zhonga
17. Never Enough (CASSARA Remix) - Satin Jackets ft Niya Wells
18. Save You (ft. Miranda Carey & Highway Superstar) - Sebastian Gampl
20. Long Way Home (Extended Mix) - Noah Neiman & Jay Bombay (feat. Laci Kay)
BONUS: 21. The One He Speaks Through - Mandisa
This year I learned a very important lesson about intercessory prayer and gained some important tools for doing so. This was a song that really helped me understand it.
One seemingly ordinary summer, I got a spiritual assignment. Before this, I've never done anything much with intercessory prayer, but God placed a specific person in/on my heart and mind whom I have been assigned to intercede for. I didn't even know that God did things like this, but I was eager to participate. Once I learned about Prayer Burdens, what they are, how they work, and what my job is to do, I jumped right into it.
I had the zeal, the drive, the determination, the desire, and burning passion. I had my mandate, a pure, passionate love and compassion for the situation which made fervent and persistent prayer about the whole thing extremely easy.
There was just one key thing I realized I didn't/don't have: Patience.
I've never been much of a patient person, unless I just find something else to take my mind off of what I'm obsessing over (which is hard). I started out believing that what I was assigned to pray for, would all happen on my time table... but that's selfish and fleshly.
When I realized that asking the Lord to do things and hearing Him say He will do them requires waiting for Him to do them on His time, I had to put myself in check. I learned that we should never ask God Himself to humble us, to give us patience/faith/confidence/etc, but rather we should ask Him that we have the mindset and ability to develop those things within ourselves (otherwise, we're literally asking for trials and tribulation and welcoming more God-approved adversity in our lives).
So knowing that, I asked God to reveal ways for me to be encouraged and encourage myself through my trouble. After the first month of just waiting and still praying, then after 60 days, 70 days, and now 80 days, I constantly prayed throughout the weeks that God give me encouragement to stick it through... and boy did He deliver!
Here's 8 reminders that have truly been keeping me going...
1. The importance of what you ask for.
One thing that really helped me was remembering that I was asking for someone's salvation. That they have the wisdom to accept it, the environment, the mindset, the understanding, and everything they need in order to have a true fighting chance and know how much they need the Lord. God even put it on my heart to ask that they have no excuse to reject salvation. Films like A Christmas Carol, It's a Wonderful Life, The Game Plan, or What Ifcome to mind.
As much as I would love for someone's deliverance to be that easy and fit in a 1.5 hour time slot, the truth is, asking for God to change someone's entire lifestyle, mindsets, convictions, and heart is a HUGE thing. Yeah, sure, God can make it happen quickly, He can do whatever He wants...and for some that is what happens... but for others (read: most), nothing would get learned that way.
I had to pause and remember that what I'm asking for isn't a simple or throw-away thing. When what you are asking God to do (and/or what He tells you He is going to do) will involve someone else's heart, free will, and lifestyle, be prepared for it to take a while. Humans are stubborn, humans are skeptical, humans are cynical. We are often stuck in our own ways, and become easily convinced to back out or fall for a well-packaged lie, and when you are asking for someone to overcome these obstacles, the devil will do all that he can in his crafty ways to make his falsities more convincing.
It's also good to mention that your own heart can be holding up the show. When I began praying for my person, my prayers were more centered around myself, my feelings, and how their salvation would impact me (and me with the person). I realized after about a week of praying this way, that I was focused on myself and my prayers were selfish in nature. Once I began to solely focus on the person and their salvation, regardless of my own feelings about it, I felt things begin to move and shift in the spirit.
2. It's about faith, not facts.
We might not be of this world, but we sure are in it. I often get caught up in the intricacies of living in reality and that includes taking "facts" to heart and letting my faith fall dormant.
Recently, I learned that when God gives you a mandate and tells you clearly "I am going to do thus, thus, and thus..." you are operating on His faith. However, when you need God to move because you can't accomplish something without God's help, you are operating on your own faith. When it comes to operating on your own faith there is more of a desire to be lazy about it. You are more likely to just let it slack off and not really put it into motion, I think (not that I'm speaking from experience or anything :P).
Faith is always there inside of you, but when it's unused it becomes inactive and dormant. We are told that we must "stir up the gift of God" (2 Tim 1:6) and if faith is a gift, which is very much is, then we must employ movement and passion to activate it and stir up that gift. You can't do what Jesus can do (miracles, healing, salvation, etc) but your passion and desire can move God to move for you.
Especially if it is for someone else (intercessory). As much as we want to lean on human logic and common sense, you have to let go of that crutch and hand the controls to God.
All the time I catch myself trying to use human logic and reasoning to try to not only rationalize what is happening and why it is taking so long for things to manifest, but to find comfort and answers. The truth is, God is bigger than any human logic I could ever dream to think up and it doesn't matter how hard I try to dig for answers and signs, if God does not want me to know, see, or be aware of something (because the time isn't right or I'm not prepared) then He won't reveal it to me.
3. God's ALREADY been moving.
One of the biggest things that helps me hang on in the baron interim of waiting (and something that I learned from Charles Stanley in his sermon about Prayer Burdens) is to remember that God was already working on the situation before He even laid it on my heart to pray about it. Before it crossed my mind, before the person was in my heart, before I had any desire to even just care about the person, let alone intercede, this entire situation was already something Jesus' hands were crafting and forming.
He does this a lot... and just decides to let us in on the blessing.
For all we know, when God has you asking for something (whether via His faith, or your own) He has been working on that thing for years longer than you could imagine.
The hardest thing about having to wait on the manifestation of something you've prayed for and keeping your faith strong in the meantime, is that you want to see updates. It's nerve-wrecking to have to just go by faith alone that things are changing and that you are truly being heard.
I wish there was a progress bar I could watch so that I can clearly see when and exactly how much my prayers were helping this person. Of course, God doesn't work that way. If that were the case, I wouldn't have to stretch my faith in the first place. Whenever God sees in us dormant or inactive faith (which He hates, Heb 11:6), He will allow things to happen to us which stretch and exercise that faith. He will throw at us situations that require tremendous amounts of faith from us and we have to believe that He is moving in the midst. The good news is, we can all rest in knowing that when God is doing something in our lives, He will be faithful to bring it to completion and that is a promise (Phil 1:6).
In finally taking that fact to heart, it helped me humble myself and realize that I was not handing out this person's salvation via my prayers. They aren't getting saved because I was asking for it, they are getting saved because it's God's will and He just assigned me to lobby for it. Once I understood that God is (and already was) moving even though I can't actively see it, I realized that I just needed to do the job I was assigned and not worry about anything else.
4. Timing really, really is EVERYTHING.
After I discovered Owl City in 9th grade, I also discovered the singer LIGHTS and her song Timing Is Everything couldn't be any more relevant than right now.
God is a God of order and organization. He does everything by a schedule and He's so good, even when we humans go off course, He will still work it all out where everything that was meant to happen will happen (so long as you have a desire to get back on course :P).
Jesus has a good plan and purpose for the things that happen to each of us, even if the things were originally something malicious the devil did for evil (Gen 50:20) and we would do well to always remember this. We have to trust in Jesus' timing.
When what you are asking for involves someone else's heart and free will, you will not only have to be patient because people are stubborn and easily fooled, but because the timing may not be right for them to have that change of heart just yet. Their lifestyle may not be able to support it yet, they may not be in a place to understand it yet, or they may have to reach a certain level of (spiritual) maturity and awareness first.
When I first started praying for my person and asking for God to give them a heart of flesh, I was anxious to see how it would start to manifest. I thought perhaps I'd start hearing the person say and do things that prove they are beginning to change... but then I realized that it might not be the right time yet. If the foundation of their salvation is manifested too soon, it may scare them away from God and their purpose in life and they may become even more cynical and skeptical. If their salvation was delayed (whether by me praying the wrong things/in the wrong spirit, or them falling into more sin) then they might have more strongholds and obstacles to overcome than they originally were meant to.
The timing of when what you have asked God to do will manifest is key to upholding your patience. Especially when what you have asked deals with the human heart. No heart surgeon preforms emergency surgery on a patient in the middle of the hospital hallway, in street clothes, and with a hammer and chisel while the patient's family looks on from the waiting room. No, the surgeon must be fully prepared with the right clothes, the right environment, the right tools, carefully, meticulously, cautiously making sure his patient's heart is repaired and behaving the way it should. This takes incredible timing and care and it's no different when God is working in someone's heart.
You may be in the waiting room while God is preforming heart surgery on someone you love and care for, and while you brought them to the hospital, God knows the right time to begin and end the surgery.
5. Feelings are intense, internal, and... irrelevant.
Don't misunderstand me. Feelings are important. VERY important. Especially to me as an artist and an INFP. Feelings help me cope, help me make my art, help me connect with others and their art and music and all sorts of things... but they also are the ultimate distraction and deception.
When I began to pray for my person and realized that it was a job placed on me by the Lord and not just my own fleshy desire because I liked the person, I was better able to focus on them and what they needed and what God placed in my heart to pray for them.
Eventually, however, my feelings still get in the way and that's when doubt, discouragement, human logic, and common sense try to step in and tell me "it's impossible", "there's no way it'll happen" and that "it's just a pipe dream." The thing is though, all of the things that lead me to doubt and worry are just emotions. I see something that upsets me, or a hear something that makes me think "what's the point? My prayers are bouncing off the ceiling." and then I believe in that because of how it makes me feel. When a specific event that normally would upset me (albeit thanks to my own doing) happened during my time praying for this person, I was wholly prepared to feel my anxiety disorder take over. I waited for my skin to feel like it was on fire, my heart to race, and that oh too familiar feeling of hopelessness to overtake me to a dark place.... but thankfully, to my surprise, God prevented my anxiety from ever coming and because of this, I was able to continue praying for my person without my emotions getting in the way. He wants us to be persistent in prayer so whenever something may get in the way of that, if you put it in His hands, He will remove it.
If you are praying for God to move and your feelings are getting in the way, the best thing you can do for yourself is to place your heart in God's hands. I asked for God to take my heart and ALL of my feelings and emotions into His mighty hands a few days before that event happened, and I'm so thankful that I did. God's grace is sufficient (2 Cor 12:9) and He further proved it when I actively asked for and allowed Him take control of my heart.
When it comes to doing a job for God (whether it is something you take on yourself, or an assignment He gives you), what you see and what you feel cannot dictate what you do and what you believe. Feelings are important and help us find balance and harmony in daily life, but if they are allowed to run rampant through your head, they will indeed take over.
6. He allows us to rest in constant encouragement along the way.
The greatest thing about choosing to trust in God and His plan and timing and placing your heart in His hands, is that He will ALWAYS provide for you renewed strength and support to get through it.
Over the course of the 80+ days/nights I have been praying for my person, I've had to ask God to renew my strength less and less. This signified to me that I've been getting stronger and able to hold on to the strength God gives me with more and more of a tighter grip. So many nights I felt weary and my flesh grew tired but I still had a desire and drive to pray (a side effect of being human :P Matt 26:41). I have to let my flesh rest many times and that's when I also ask for God to renew my strength.
I am a person who loves music and uses music to cope with every day life. I began to ask God to speak to me through songs and allow me encouragement through either the music I already listen to or new songs I discover. The beautiful thing is, God does it. So many songs were brought to me just over the summer alone that spoke specifically to me about my feelings (and keeping them at bay), my person, and the whole situation. I have also been blessed to find a lot of articles and sermon podcasts online that offer great perspective, wisdom, and encouragement to me.
So many songs and sermons of hope and faith and encouragement and uplifting inspiration that have to this day, helped to keep me going.
Another point to add would be that God will always provide witnesses (Acts 14:17, Deut 19:15). Not just witnesses to your situation, but people who have been through the same thing (not exactly, but something close) and their testimony unlocks your current situation. God will not leave you in an issue without showing you how He's brought others through similar ones. When I learned this, I prayed and asked God to show me the witnesses for the work in my life. I actually forgot I prayed for this, but about a month later, God revealed to me not just one, not two, but four different accounts and testimonies of people all about similar situations to my own. If you are not aware of any witnesses to your own current issue, then you can simply ask God to reveal witnesses to you. They will provide you with hope and encouragement to carry on and know that if they can do it, you can too. If God did it for them, He can do it for you.
When what you are asking for will take a lot of time and patience, God will always provide for you ways to receive encouragement and to keep on trucking. The key is recognizing that He will do this, asking and expecting Him to.
7. It's Great Practice For Persistent Prayer
Be as persistent as this pug :0
All throughout God's Word, you will find "I waited patiently", "I seeked", "He heard", etc (Psalm 40:1, Psalm 116:2, Psalm 88:1-18, Psalm 130:1-6).
You will also see words like "persistent" "always" and "constantly" when talking about prayer (Luke 18:1-8, Eph 6:18, Romans 12:12, 1 Thess 5:7).
God wants us to pray without ceasing or stopping. He wants us to continuously ask with passion and fervent compassion and care, not because He enjoys making us beg, didn't hear you the first 15 times, or He wants to make you repeat yourself, but because the passion you build in persistent prayer (especially if it's on someone else's behalf) is the same passion Jesus has for us. On top of this, in asking persistently with passion, you will discover if what you want and desire truly is right and truly is what you want and desire (the Lord will reveal it to you).
Matthew 7:7-8 says "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened." which means that we aren't supposed to just ask for something on the fly, and let it sit on a shelf. Taking action through persistent prayer is a big way in which we activate our faith. The more we ask, the more we seek, and the more we knock at God's door, the more we show God that we truly want what we are asking for in our hearts. Of course, you must be asking and desiring in the right spirit and not out of selfishness, jealously, envy, anger, etc.
If or when you finally get a response from God saying He will do it (or you simply just have faith that it will), do not take that word or confidence as an excuse to stop praying. After you've been praying and praying for something and God gives you a prophetic or revealing word about it or you have reached a strong level of confidence and faith, the devil's first action is to make you think you can now sit back in that confidence and faith, and just wait for it to happen... but that's a deception. The Word says "pray without ceasing" but it does not say "pray without ceasing or until you get a prophetic word." Of course, it doesn't mean you have to keep praying that same old tired prayer you were praying before you got your word, because it's been answered. However, just like you, the devil also knows that God is moving and hat the answer to your prayers will be manifest... so he will do all he can to stop it (especially if it's intercessory). I received a prophetic word from God a few weeks into my situation, and realized now is the time to start praying that no trick or deception of the devil keeps my person from getting their blessing and hearing/answering the call of God. That nothing the devil tries will prosper against my person.
On the flip side of all this, I think it's good to mention that you also shouldn't keep praying about it, if you think it'll speed things up. That's taking advantage of persistent prayer and it could severely delay the plan and process God has in action currently. I've found usually that asking God to give me discernment of flesh vs spirit and to constantly be able to pray in the right spirit helps a lot to combat this from happening.
8. God hears EVERY prayer.
10 agrees with me lolol
The thin and thick of it is this: No matter what you're asking for, God hears you.
It doesn't always feel like it when you have to wait and wait for a long time. Your feelings take over and bring doubt and worry and fear and discouragement with them and your mind starts racing with "what if's" that get you anxious and antsy.
The devil's favorite trick of the heart is to make you think there's no hope with discouragement. However, the devil is a liar and the truth is that God hears every single thing that you ask of and to Him. Does He answer exactly how you asked or thought? No, but He answers them the way they are meant to be answered and in the way that suits us best (even if we don't realize it). This means that no request goes unheard and no prayer you can pray will be ignored. It's all about remembering timing and stretching your faith.
Once again, where the human heart is involved, God works with immense care and indefatigably. When you are wholeheartedly asking for a change of heart (in you or especially someone else), God listens and acts according to His timing and His wisdom. It's hard to follow, impossible to understand, and can drive you nuts... but when it's all over, you can look back and realize that all of that work and all of your tears and time spent were not a waste.
As much as I would love to sit in my chair typing this and say that I've overcome the beast of impatience, the honest truth is that I struggle with waiting almost every day (in general as well as in my situation), but with these things to remind me, I've noticed that I've had less and less (pretty much no) anxiety stemming from impatience.
So don't feel discouraged if God has laid something upon your heart, or you are asking Him to do something in a life, and you must wait for it to manifest. You must remember that "[His] thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways [His] ways[...] For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [His] ways higher than your ways, and [His] thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9).
We can't even begin to know or understand what God really has in mind and His will and plans for us or any one else, so the best thing we could ever, ever do is to just hold on tight, obey His word and guidance of the Holy Spirit, and trust in Him.
Remember: God is patient with us, and if we are meant to be like Him, doesn't that mean we must be patient too?
"I don't know where the story ends, but I'll be alright cause You wrote it."
As a fantasy writer, listening to the appropriate music while writing can really get you in ~the mood~ and set the tone for a scene, a situation, or the entire story.
Of course, when it comes to fleshing out your characters and really knowing who they are beyond just dialog on a page or a doodle on the canvas, one of the best tools (and possibly most underused even) is choosing the right songs for them.
I discovered this out of personal struggle. Since 2011/2012, I have been (very off-and-on) writing a story titled Beyond the Wall. To put it short, it's a POC Fantasy story, wedged somewhere between High and Low Fantasy (Middle Fantasy?) with elements of action, adventure, comedy, magic, and romance. It's set in my fictional world of Soren, an Earth-esque planet inhabited by elves (along with mythological animals and beasts). Based on my experience with writing this story and having to do all of the character development, music is the greatest asset a character creator (whether a writer or illustrator) can use when fleshing out a character and giving them a background and a life.
So, you know that magical feeling you get in the pit of your soul when an artist creates a song that perfectly captures how you feel about another person, situation, yourself, or your life, and they express it in their lyrics better than you could possibly could?
Take that principle and apply it to your characters. Finding songs that sound like your character could have created them is the musical key to connecting to them as their creator.
Once you get that song, or a playlist of 4 or 5 songs (or 20, or 30) that speak to the heart of your character and their personality, then you've got a strong and constant tool to use when trying to get in the head space and finding the muse for that character.
Where do you find music?
Sure, you can file through all the songs stashed in your music library and try to match them up with your characters. There's nothing wrong with that and it's fun and easier than music hunting because you're already familiar with the tunes at hand. The more broad your music taste, the easier this can be.
But, it can make things harder when you have a dark, broodish, and cynical character but most of the songs you know and enjoy are upbeat pop hits or electronic dance songs.
I had this issue a lot when I was younger and it made picking theme songs for my characters harder than ever. I finally found a way to combat this when I began to discover all of the amazing music tucked away in the hidden corners of the Youtube corn maze.
Youtube channels such as:
Funky Panda
ENM
Elegant Sister (ES)
MrSuicideSheep OR SuicideSheep (same guy, different channel)
Indie Current
Alrota Music
and xKito Music
all post songs by independent, up and coming, and hidden gem artists literally every single day (or close to it for some). Most, if not each, of these channels has playlists of dozens or sometimes hundreds of songs sorted by genre and make finding appropriate character songs so much easier than asking around for song suggestions from friends, on forums, hunting for songs with a certain sound or lyrics on google, or posting to Yahoo Answers. I also have a habit of looking up songs I've heard and liked on tv commercials because they are often good and can come in handy for character stuff.
Think about your character's personality.
Imagine if Lurch's theme song was JT's Can't Stop the Feeling. Ill-fitting, yet oddly funny.
When choosing the right songs for your baby, you want to keep in mind who they are. What is their personality like? Are they brash? Tactful? Shy? Charming and charismatic? Sarcastic and cynical? Perhaps an odd mix. Find whatever adjectives describe them. If your character is a shy brooding type, for example, then it might fare well for you to search for songs with lyrics that portray this sort of mentality and lifestyle. Of course, if you want to make a statement about your character keeping their true personality hidden, or them pretending to be someone they really aren't, then choosing a song that represents the real them and not their chosen persona would be best.
Lyrics might be dandy, but instrumentals can be handy.
Naturally, lyrics to a song are the most fun and easiest thing to match up to a character and storyline. However, you cannot ignore instrumental music either. The great thing about choosing instrumentals for your characters, is that they can help you to really get a feel for your character's presence and how they carry themselves, without having to worry about what the lyrics are saying.
Personally, when I choose instrumental songs for my characters, I don't ask myself what type of music would [character] listen to? so much as I ask if [character] was a genre of music, what would they sound like? The token idea here is that you are finding your characters aesthetic through music.
For example, my character Roland is an overthinking ISTJ who loves horticulture, schedules, and occasionally singing when no one's around. Instead of choosing music that is dark and heavy or slow and dragging for him, I decided on acoustic and indie folk, since he is a "Donny Downer" type, but also a nature lover with a off-kilter since of humor.
Really think about the essence of your character.
Music make you lose gain control.
When choosing songs for your characters, it's important to remember the impact that music can have while you are writing. There's tons of articles you can find online that talk about how influential music is to writers. How it can help you focus, inspire and encourage you to continue working on something you started to get bored with, or motivate you to finish things that you've neglected. I've heard the best is lukewarm ambient instrumental (not so great sounding it distracts you, but not bad to the point it also distracts you), but here's more to it than that, I believe.
While I write, I either listen to the songs I chose for the characters that are in the scene I'm writing, or I listen to Epic Score/Cinematic music that I feel fits the scene. Writing without that foundation of music in the background has actually proved to be more difficult to me.
Having music with a perfect fit to your story and characters to listen to as you write can totally immerse you into the scene you are writing.
I'm an illustrator and visual person, so when I create stories, I usually think up the scenes in terms of screenplay, camera angles, and staging at the start, so having the actual audio of score music (that isn't associated with a movie or tv show that already exists) to the hypothetical movie I'm creating helps to make it feel more real.
This helps to keep me mindful of not only the aesthetic/atmosphere of the scene I'm writing, but what the characters are doing, how they are acting in the scene, and interacting with each other. simply because it forces me to imagine how they are going to be moving and staged throughout the scene in tangent with the music.
As a sidenote, I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with listening to songs that are in the "so great sounding it distracts you" category, if they are songs relating to your characters/story. That way, if or when you are distracted by the music, you will still be thinking about your characters/story and keep your focus on that.
And there you have it. Some ideas for how to get started finding the perfect songs for your characters!
Remember that songs can have multiple meanings and just because the lyrics of a song sounds one way, doesn't mean it can't mean something else. And that something else might be something that your character can relate to.
That perfect song can come from anywhere, you just have to be willing to listen.
